The First Millennial

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Long before Uber was a spark in the eye of a 20-something, the comeback kid was already disrupting the system and driving his elders crazy. Bill Clinton was the first millennial. Clinton was the kid on the scene in the 90’s, the young handsome Southern governor playing the sax on TV and talking about his underwear. HIS UNDERWEAR, FOR GOD’S SAKE! The Washington establishment thought he was damaging the office of the presidency and had the vapors over the new connotation of “presidential briefs”. Or was it boxers? Well back then, everyone knew which one it was! He changed what was acceptable, and many people thought it was the beginning of the end. And in many ways, it was.

The Clinton era ushered in the beginning of the lowering of the bar of American culture and couth that has led us to where we are today, which is shamefully devoid of couth and culture. Not because he was bad, but because he was so hated by the right. The Gingrich Revolution followed Clinton to Washington as a radical check, to restore balance after this horny little youngster from Arkansas, who was caught in extramarital affairs while Governor, defied the odds and was elected anyway! The dusty old Washington establishment felt threatened by Clinton because he was a very smart politician who challenged the rules. His wife was a feminist laywer. That was unheard of, and it pissed them off royally. And she was sassy to boot. So in came the backlash of Gingrich and his flying monkeys who proceeded to take the Republican party into batshit crazy territory. The angry white Tea Party of the 90’s. The Contract with America was very divisive politics that took us to new lows. The Republicans broke The Water’s Edge Rule for the first time, trash-talking Clinton publicly even while he was abroad. It was about destroying your opponents at all costs. It was the counter balance to the disruption of Bill Clinton. And his smartass wife.

And then, after skating by all those affairs and lies, he gets to Washington and immediately pisses that establishment off by ignoring protocols inviting congressional leaders to the White House, to the inaugural balls, etc. They hated him so much blood ran from their eyes. Opponents didn’t hate Nixon this much, or Reagan, or Johnson, or Carter or either Bush. Oh they were hated by their political foes, but nothing even close to the way that Gingrich declared vitriolic nuclear personal war on Bill Clinton and on the American system. By challenging it in a way that would begin to give challengers a short cut, by being on the offense and putting the other side on defense, and by being willing to destroy your opponent personally, he found a winning combination that has become the tragic norm in the U.S. today.

Clinton beat them at every turn, which just made them angrier and angrier. His opponents were so mad that they impeached him for having an affair even while Gingrich was… uh, having an affair. And even at that, Clinton clung to his bible and waited them out until the public grew tired of the spectacle. He took Republican’s proposals and made them his own. He beat them at every turn. He innovated. He reverse engineered. He developed the first human apps.

Clinton was ahead of his time, which drove the establishment utterly insane and paved the way for the poisonous atmosphere that dominates the country today. It would take FOX a couple of decades to gaslight the red state conservatives and it took the technology of social media to divide us into tribes. But here we are still struggling with that philosophy of personal destruction and as a result our government is in tatters. As is the truth. We’re almost to that scene at the end of The Planet of the Apes where Charleston Heston runs across the remains of the Statue of Liberty on the beach. But the first scene of this tragic movie began with Bill and Hillary pissing Republicans off so much, that they’d go on to destroy our democracy just to get even with them.

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There’s Hope in Dicks (not Hicks)

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This week I have hope. Not that Hope. Not Hope Hicks, but hope in Dick’s! I am perhaps the only person who has not actually had Hope Hicks. But millions of people this week got hope from Dick’s. And oddly enough, I got some hope this week from The Moron himself. That’s right. What renewed just a sliver of hope in my government this week is that Trump’s absurd dog and pony show on gun control demonstrated that he is so wildly dysfunctional that he might just be crazy enough to break the gun gridlock that has had all of us in its sights for the last few decades. He’s stupid enough that he might just be able to get something positive done in this one area because he doesn’t know what he doesn’t know. He’s so desperate for approval that he will turn his back on his allies (NRA) if he thinks it’s popular in the moment. We’ve never had anyone willing to abandon his side on gun control. And because he has absolutely no real values of his own, his finger in the wind is his guide. And the gun control winds are definitely blowing against Republicans and the NRA for the first time since the 90’s.

This week’s televised meeting of Trump with a bi-partisan congressional group demonstrated his ability to swing wildly, even to the left of the leftiest. When he suggested that we scrap due process and just take guns away from anyone suspected of mental illness, even the liberalist jaws at the huge table dropped. Same thing happened when he swung far to the right by sticking to his guns on arming teachers yet again. What was clear was that he was merely swinging from the hip to score points, moment to moment, with the possibility that this moment will cancel out the progress made in the last moment. Even as he boasted about not caring about being popular, it was so evident that he’d say anything to be popular in the now. Anything! It was pointed out by Senator Murphy that the president does not understand the true chokehold the NRA has on congress when he asked why nothing was done even after the unconscionable massacre of children at Sandy Hook. Trump also showed that he doesn’t understand how congress works, with his kindergarten-like instructions on which senators should sit down and talk with one another, a process these veteran sausage-makers from both houses know far better than he. He did, however, demonstrate that he does understand that the proposed conceal/carry law would be a poison pill, although he probably wouldn’t like or understand that term, because he’s so anti-drug. Even if you think Trump to be sincere in this round robin meeting, you’d have to compare it to the previous version of this planned improvisation on DACA, when he demanded that Dreamers be treated with love. Then he retreated to his partisan playbook and turned his back on them without any of the aforementioned love. The Supreme Court is the only part of our government that has shown Dreamers any love.

But there is hope this time. There is more hope not because Trump has suddenly sprouted some integrity. Nope. Not because he now understands the proper way to get bi-partisan cooperation on the hill. Nope. There is hope because the lack of common sense gun laws in the U.S. has been so completely without logic for so long, that it has stymied the smartest minds in our country. It is the only issue where there is no rational argument for doing nothing to curtail our now daily hemorrhage of mass shootings. It has been brains against brawn, and brawn has been on top for as long as anyone can remember. For decades, the NRA has crazily prevented congress from any positive action whatsoever. Until now. Until Parkland. Until the children spoke. Until the kids from the drama department stood up to their state legislators and the country watched them turn their back on their own kids. And now that the public is finally demanding that this insanity be dealt with, the winds of change are gaining hurricane strength and bearing down on Florida. And this storm is so large that’s it’s effecting the entire country. These winds are pushing the biggest retailers, Dick’s Sporting Goods and Walmart to change their own gun sales policies, and that is no small thing. These CEO’s are willing to face these category 3 winds which will surely cause some PR damage for them, even if it appeals to the majority of their customers.

Reason has failed us with regard to gun control again and again. The rest of the world sees the U.S. as completely insane about guns. Rational minds cannot look at the attempted assassination of Congresswoman Gabby Giffords, or the recent attack on Steve Scalise and other Republicans on the ball field, or the horror at Sandy Hook, or Orlando, or Vegas, or the church shootings in Texas and South Carolina… rational people could not look at these events and say we don’t have a gun problem. Insanity has dictated how we choose to handle deadly weapons on our country. And the only thing that might have a chance to shake that up, is even MORE INSANITY! He’s crazier than the NRA. And that is a cause for hope. So even while one Hope is leaving the white house with her white lies in her stylish pockets, the real hope is that Covfefe’s level of crazy will trump the NRA’s. This is just crazy enough to work. Maybe.

Myth & Lesson; shooting the NRA’s red herrings right between the eyes

Theatre of the Absurd

red herringThis essay was originally posted last year, but I’m reposting it in response to the Parkland FL school shooting. Sadly, these points haven’t changed in the last year and this is still relevant today. 

I grew up in a gun-loving part of the country. As a teen I received my first gun from my mom as a Christmas present, which is quite typical where I come from. By the time I was 18 I owned 4 guns. Also typical. Coming from the heartland, I fully understand why people like guns. Now that I’ve spent over 30 years in one of the largest and most violent cities in the country (Los Angeles) I also understand why our country needs far more restrictions on who can get a gun. These POV’s seem contradictory at first glance, but both are rational. You can be pro 2nd Amendment, and still think that guns should…

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Your Hit Parade!

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Finally, a great idea from our Covfefe-in-Chief; a military parade down Pennsylvania Avenue. Fantastic! How could we not, right? I mean, we’ve got the toughest and most expensive military on Earth, so why not show it off? When the world sees what we’ve got up our sleeve, they’ll lie down their weapons and roll over. As W. used to say, “Mission Accomplished!”

Picture this! The parade begins with Wonder Woman, not the cartoon, but the real live Wonder Woman from the movie, in full costume flying her invisible plane (the one from the cartoon, only because I don’t think there really is an invisible plane in real life). If there is really one, then we go with that. Just that beautiful Israeli actor (cuz we like the Israelis more than the Palestinians, we just do) in her colorful spandex zooming over the streets of D.C. And because recreational marijuana is legal in D.C., this will make for an absolutely mind-blowing opening for liberals! Forget the stealth bomber flyover, cuz that’s soooooo Rose Parade. No, this is f’ing WONDER WOMAN!

Then, we follow that big opening with the grand marshall, none other than… wait for it… Frederick Douglass! Yep, Captain Cheetoh has said that Frederick has… “done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more.” We should definitely show him off to the rest of the world. Plus it shows that Trump is not racist. At all. Mr. Douglass will be alone on foot.

Right behind Frederick Douglass will march the tiki-torch brigade from Charlottesville (who were actually not from there but came there to show off their intimidating back yard tiki’s). We could even put some colored mosquito fluid in them so the ones at the front burn blue and red. We can get the colored fluid and some extra torches at Home Depot if we do the parade in the summer months. They won’t wear uniforms, because they’re not really military, they’re more like the Army’s back-up plan. But still, we got ‘em, so why not show ‘em off. The whole world’s watching, after all. The tiki brigade will all be asked to wear button down shirts (if they have one) all tucked in. And their hair needs to be combed, with product, and they’ll be clean shaven, again, to demonstrate to the rest of the world that even white supremacists in America are really fine people. And because these guys are nazi-wannabees, they should be the ones to do the goose-stepping. You NEVER have a military parade without the goose-stepping marchers. That’s what scares your enemies most! Because to do that for more than two blocks seriously kills your lower back, no matter how much training you have or how much lower-back support is built into your costume. And people who can goose-step like that, can easily kick your ass. They will need to practice so as not to spill the mosquito fluid from their tiki’s while goose-stepping, but just imagine if all those elegant torches are at the exact same symmetrical angle…that’ll be sweet, and intimidating.

Behind the tiki’s comes the smack down to Russia. The Speaker of the people’s House of Representatives, a shirtless and buff Paul Ryan on horseback, bareback (cuz that’s how he likes it) in the boldest political statement of the parade. It says “You, Vladimir Putin, are not the only one with a horse. And while our president is technically obese, our Speaker works out even more than a KGB agent.” We’ll rub him down with baby oil before the parade begins so his rippled chest is all shiny, like Mitch McConnell’s face whenever he’s standing at a podium. And maybe we play that Lee Greenwood song that Republicans love so much as he rides slowly, clip clop clip clop, past the Starbucks on the corner of K Street where Ambassador Kislyak hangs out. And it’s not just any old horse, it’s a Clydesdale, since they’re not using them for the Super Bowl anymore, and maybe he’s even holding a Budweiser. He couldn’t drink the beer, cuz that’d be illegal to drink it in public, but he could hold it label out, clearly saying “Cheers Russia. In your eye!”.

Then, America’s own Cirque du Soleil, from French-speaking Canada in Las Vegas. These guys are just weird and mind-blowing. They speak in gibberish (or maybe it’s French), they defy gravity, and everybody loves them. Even the Taliban will love these guys because they appeal to literally everyone. And they’re sneaky. They’ll not just walk down the street behind the Clydesdale carrying America’s budget-stud. Nope, they’ll come from the crowd. From within! Imagine the surprised Republicans lining the parade route, when these colorful bizarre Chinese acrobats from France and Canada and Las Vegas emerge right from the crowd and onto the street, cartwheeling and jabbering with that very fun dreamy music. And having Cirque will truly drive the ticket prices through the roof, so we can charge an extra $100 per parade route ticket and maybe begin to pay for the $1.5 trillion dollar tax-cut.

Colin Kaepernick will follow Cirque on an orange bicycle with training-wheels. The bike will have a sign saying “ALL Lives Matter” to show the world that we in America care about ALL colors equally, (especially Orange). Also, it’ll tell the world that we won the football fight about the national anthem, which will be playing loudly in the background. NOBODY will be kneeling because Kaepernick will be strapped onto that bike so he can’t get off. The training wheels are mostly just to embarrass him, but they will actually come in handy when he gets tired, around mile two, as he’s no Lance Armstrong. And believe me, not only will Kaepernick agree to do it, but he will pay for the bike!

We should close the parade with our best technology! No, not i-phones. Imagine, a naturalized American citizen who originally came from a shithole country (to show that we love immigrants when they have skills… and financing) sitting behind the wheel of a red convertible Tesla, playing David Bowie music, and the car is perched on the nose of the most powerful rocket ever! No, wait. That’s too much. Nobody would ever believe that.

Treason-Trump=Reason

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Treason. It’s a dusty old word, left over from the days of muskets and powdered wigs. But when our Commander-in-Covfefe pulled it out this week saying that Dems are treasonous for not applauding him during the State of the Union address, he once again demonstrated how little he understands the power of his office. He and his voters clearly don’t understand why casually throwing this word and concept around is no laughing matter. There’s been much talk over the past year about the tearing down of our societal norms, but very few Trump voters have taken heed. Shocking, right? Uneducated voters still can’t seem to grasp why it’s a problem to chant “Lock her up” about your political opponent. Red state folks don’t get why they can’t make everyone applaud the way they want them to. They cannot connect the dots with Kim Jong Un having people executed for not… (wait for it) applauding with enough enthusiasm. Republicans are blind to the fact that Captain Cheetoh is mimicking much of Un’s authoritarian behavior by saying this. Conservatives just can’t see it. They don’t understand that when football players don’t salute the flag the way they want people to, that this is their constitutional right of free speech and that they are entitled to it, even if Trump disagrees. They are blind.

 

Trump is right (whoa, did I say that?) that we did reach a new low in this year’s State of the Union address. We surpassed the “You Lie!” moment of shame when Republican congressman Joe Wilson interrupted President Obama’s speech. This year, the shameful part was… that it was being delivered by a pathological liar with absolutely no moral compass. The new low that Trump voters are blind to is having this orange fool represent us to the rest of the world. The rest of the world knows what an idiotic disaster this clown is. It’s only in the US that 1/3 of our people are too stupid to understand that his lies void any truths that may have inadvertently been imbedded in the SotU speech. His lies mean that none of it matters. It is shameful to pretend that he represents us like a real president. He isn’t. And he doesn’t. Which is why so many Americans skipped it altogether this year. Myself included. I went bowling with Ruth Bader Ginsburg instead, which is why I missed this great treasonous act on the part of my Dems. But oh how I would really love to see Chuck and Nancy stand up so firmly against this Republican debacle that they are accused of treason by someone who actually knows what the word means.

 

Modern day Republicans don’t understand much about the concept of treason. They are covering for Trump and his family’s close associations with many Russians and, in fact, trying to hinder the investigation conducted by the fairest man in Washington. If there has been any treasonous behavior, it has been by The Moron himself and his family. Making money off foreign governments is against the law. Yet he lines his pockets every single day while uneducated and unemployed coal miners continue to cheer him in the dark. They don’t get how fragile democracy is, and frankly, they just don’t care. At some point in the future, rational Americans will regain control of our senses and our government, and Republicans will find that they have been on the wrong side of history by protecting this destructive little man-baby as he dismantles our norms. The rest of the world already knows this. But to know something is to understand the nuances of it. And that’s why uneducated Trump voters will never know how irresponsible it is to call Democrats treasonous for not applauding to his perverted liking. They just can’t.

ALL Things Are NOT Equal

Republishing this piece from last summer because it is so relevant this week with all of the hype about the Republican release of “the Nunez memo”. Republicans need to get over their self-perceived Liberal media bias and see the world to find out it’s their POV that needs adjusting.

Theatre of the Absurd

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By Jay McAdams

What Roger Ailes understood a couple of decades ago when he started FOX News was that if you have one opinion and offer an opposing view, people will tend to compare those two opinions as if they’re equal, even if they’re not both equally valid points-of-view. Since the so-called presidential election, pundits have been saying that Dems didn’t listen to the very valid points-of-view of red-state voters feeling left behind. That may be true. But it doesn’t mean that the red-state voters who think Trump is great, who think that the Russians are our friends, who think we should dismantle our government, who think we should do away with ethics rules and norms, who believe regulations are bad things, who believe that global warming is a left-wing hoax… just because millions of mostly uneducated Americans believe these things it doesn’t mean that these points-of-view are intellectually or…

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The State of Our “So-called” Union

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This is what a year looks like. This is what a bad year looks like. This is what a chaotic, mean year looks like in America. This is what a divided, vindictive year looks like after all the trust has been washed away. This is what a year under fire looks like. This is what our union looks like, a year after the most destructive administration in our history took over and set about destroying our government and societal norms. This is what the worst year in American history looks like. And it’s not pretty.

I normally love the State of the Union addresses, but won’t be watching this year. I can’t. I can’t stand the Moron telling me that everything is Great Again. I refuse to listen to the lies and watch as the Dems play their version of hardball by refusing to clap, until they leap to their feet to cheer him when he lies about wanting to save the Dreamers. I know that the state of our union is divided. I know that truth has been assassinated by Twitter. 1/3 of us can’t tell truth from fiction unless Zuckerberg decides what’s real for us. The state of our union is more tribalized than Afghanistan. Like millions of rational Americans, I will not listen to this sniffling idiot tell me otherwise.

A year of daily lies has taken its toll on most of us. We are exhausted. The insults, the lies, the delusions, the Russians… and that’s just an ordinary Monday. It’s no wonder our heads are exploding. The only Americans whose heads are not exploding are the uneducated. The stupid people who voted for and support Capt. Covfefe don’t understand how things are worse. They can’t see it. They think the reason that fewer people attended this year’s women’s march was because more people support Trump now. They don’t know that thinking people are just worn down to a nub. The stupidity of this national moment is just too much to bear for those of us who know what it means.

That this orange fool is standing at the podium delivering the SoU address is laughable. It is a mockery. It’s a mockery of our values as decent people. Because he isn’t. It’s a mockery of the truth, because he’s never told it in his life. It’s a mockery of our system of government, because he’s intentionally working to dismantle it. It’s a mockery of American leadership, because the whole world now hates us. It’s a mockery of our intelligence, because as his Secretary of State says, he’s such a Moron.

The state of our union is… far from Great Again. In fact, we’ve never been so far from greatness.