I have been criticizing the stupid people of America lately. That is because 1/3 of Americans (let’s call those Republicans) currently have the other 2/3 of us (let’s call those the rest of the people who can read and think and reason) by the throat. The stupid people, I have been saying, don’t understand that our president is an idiot because, well, they’re stupid. Many of them are even more stupid than him. After all, they bought his made-in-China MAGA hats for $40. And then they burned them. They’re no geniuses. To them, he really is smart. So how could they possibly know?
It was a rational, if flawed thesis. But now I have some new information that has caused me to rethink my cynical perspective about our president. When the president of the United States tweeted that he is “a very stable genius”, it struck me that perhaps I have been on the wrong side of this all along. Maybe Mike Pence is right that Trump is a true genius and I am the one on the stupid side. Maybe those red state folks have understood something the other 2/3 of us missed. I’ve been watching and listening to him ever since he came down the escalator, and it never even occurred to me that he is a genius. I confess that thought never crossed my mind. What kind of genius would begin a presidential campaign with a ridiculous entrance…on an escalator? A Republican genius, that’s what. What kind of genius would raise our national debt by over a trillion dollars just to get a law passed by the end of the year? A Republican genius, that’s right. What kind of genius overturns the executive order making it easier for mentally ill people to buy guns? A Republican genius.
I’m more than a little embarrassed that it took me two years to understand that this man is in fact… a genius. And a stable one at that. I’m admittedly late to the party and I didn’t even bring any wine. Forgive me. In my own defense though, as I’ve said, I have listened and paid close attention every day for over two years. But still, I missed it so badly that I have been in agreement with his chief of staff that he is a complete and utter Moron. And I thought that not just because I’m a California liberal, but because of the words he speaks and the things he does and the people he admires, like Roy Cohn, one of the most evil men of the 20th Century. I had assumed that since he was protégé of the monster Cohn, that it automatically made him less than a genius. What kind of genius would associate himself with the unpatriotic sociopath Roy Cohn post McCarthy hearings? A Republican genius, that’s what.
He has set the world straight by writing in black and tweet, that he is a genius. But unlike those unstable geniuses (you know who you are), he’s of the stable variety. Smart and stable. No, “a very stable genius”. You just can’t beat that for a president. No wonder all those Trump-voters are so happy. C’mon liberals, grab a bottle of that chardonnay you love so much and join the party. We should all be thrilled to have such a stable genius leading the world. Hopefully now that he’s pointed it out, North Korea and Iran and Pakistan will also understand his true genius. What kind of genius attacked all 3 of those countries this week and made the whole world think he was unstable? A Republican genius. That’s what!