Looking for Liberals

liberal tears

Where have all the liberals gone? Chuck? Nancy? Anyone? Hello? As the knuckle-dragging mobster wannabe’s known as the Trump administration have gone about destabilizing the world and dismantling our government, the once chattering liberals have gone quiet. Not just the liberal politicians, but the rank and file lefties too. My liberal California friends have stopped talking about our national crisis altogether because it makes them nauseous. They’ve stopped watching the news because it makes their open minds hurt. In fact, most liberals I know say that whenever they see Trump’s face on TV, they run screaming from the room. That’s how we liberals are fighting back. That is how most liberals that I know are resisting. #RESIST has morphed into #REST. They have moved on from forwarding Move On emails, and are instead watching puppy videos that make them feel all warm and fuzzy, like a puppy. 100 of my liberal Facebook friends will LIKE a photo of my wife and I at the beach, but only 4 of them will LIKE an informative newspaper article about the very real dangers of backing out of the Iran nuclear deal, written by one of the most respected nuclear experts in the world. No, that is just too…uncomfortable, too icky. Puppies please.

Conservatives on the other hand… when things get mean, they get meaner. When they’re in the minority, they go low and sabotage without shame. They shut down the government with national park-sized tantrums and without apology. And they are rewarded for it. But we liberals are far too nice for that. When in the minority, we … we… turn off cable news and binge-watch House of Cards so at least we can feel like we’re politically aware ‘cuz we’re still watching Washington, it’s just the Hollywood version of Washington cast with pretty people. Oh no, wait, we can’t even do that now…thanks a lot, Kevin Spacey!

What bothers me most about this liberal retreat is that these are the people in our country who are passionate about what is going on in the world, at least under normal circumstances. Most Americans never follow the news much, but the engaged and educated liberals are the people who normally would. If only they could now, when we need them. But they just can’t take it anymore. And so, the screaming, chanting, chest-beating MAGA conservatives have the floor…and the environment, and the justice system, and education system, and the state department…

Maybe the mid-terms will activate the dormant Dems. Maybe the Iran nuclear debacle will motivate liberals to pick up the phone again, like they did in the early days of this crisis, and call their congressional reps. Or maybe Mueller will find some crime that the Republicans can’t ignore. Or maybe the Republicans will continue to bulldoze the truth and get away with it. Maybe the GOP will continue to gaslight 1/3 of our most uneducated citizens and ban the #MeToo movement altogether denying that any women have been wronged by any men, ever in the history of the planet, and that #MeToo is all a bunch of fake news. And maybe 70 million FOX viewers will believe them. And maybe then Kevin Spacey can return to his series, and then maybe we liberals can resume watching what’s going on in Washington, even if it’s fake Washington. Watching fake Washington is at least a place to start for we overwhelmed liberals, since we can’t seem to bring ourselves to watch what’s going on there in real life.

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