What Would It REALLY Take?


He claimed that he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and nobody in his base would care. And he was right. He has lied daily, even about unnecessary things like inaugural crowd size and they didn’t care. Not one bit. He refused to show his taxes like every other candidate has done for decades, then proceeded to profit off the presidency. But they didn’t care. He’s attacked our allies and protected our enemies. But nothing was quite like when he stood next to the former Russian KGB agent-turned-dictator and said he believed him over our own intelligence agencies. That was clear treason and still they didn’t care. That was shooting Uncle Sam right in the head in front of the entire world, and still, Republicans did nothing except feign outrage for 48 hours. They didn’t care.

So what would it really take to get these 30%-40% of uneducated Americans who are trump voters to side with Reason over Treason? Hard, concrete evidence of criminal wrongdoing from Mueller? Nope. They’ll say it’s just a witch hunt. More tapes catching him lying? Nope, they don’t care if he lies. Sex photos of him with Stormy Daniels? Nope. They’ll just be more proud of him. The Russian pee-pee-tape mentioned in the Steele Dossier? Nope. Not enough. If he said he was going to undo the traditional design of Air Force One created by Jackie Kennedy, would that outrage any Republicans? Nope. What if he threatened to revoke the security clearances of the most respected security officials in the U.S. because they dared to critique his antics with serious criticism? No problem, say Republicans. What if he gets innocent people killed? He’s already done that by stupidly moving the embassy in Israel, and nobody cared at all. Crickets.

No, it’ll take cutting the heart out of what Republicans really care about to get his base to take the hand of the rest of the world. Like cancelling the air force flyover at the Super Bowl, now you’re getting to the heart of the heartland. Or demanding that they print FAKE FOOD on Cheese Whiz cans. That might be enough to hit conservatives where they live. If he banned Dukes of Hazzard reruns, he’d surely lose votes from his Southern tiki-torch carrying friends. What if he put a tariff on Chick Fil-A sandwiches? Oh that’d burn up Scott Pruitt and all those conservative chickens. If he wore a t-shirt with a Mexican flag that says “It’s pronounced Hay Sus, not Jesus” to the national prayer breakfast, that’d get him impeached. Siding with Russia wouldn’t get him impeached, but a slander to evangelicals seriously would. If he banned NASCAR, he’d just have to go. If he deported Lee Greenwood, he’d not only be impeached, he’d be impaled by conservatives.

But what if… he told the truth? Oh, wow! That might really be thing that’d undo him. Not that we have to worry that ever happening, but just imagine how his base’s heads would explode. Because if he’d told the truth, he would have never fooled those poor 70 million Americans into voting for him in the first place. If he told the truth, even they would know that he’s nothing but a fat orange bluff in an overpriced suit. If he told the truth, they’d know he’s not religious. He wouldn’t be sleeping with all those porn stars if he were truly religious, would he? If he told the truth, even the dumbest of his voters who have never left their own counties would know that he is an idiot about foreign policy. If he told the truth, they’d know he’s not really against abortion. Or even gay people. He was fine with abortions and gays during his swinging Studio 54 days. If he told the truth for once in his life, they’d know what a vacuous bully he really is. If ever he decided to tell the truth, then his gaslighted Republican devotees would finally come to see that he’s nothing more than an emperor with no clothes.

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