Bedminster, New Jersey February 18, 2019 11:15am EST President Trump said on the fourth day of his National Emergency from his New Jersey golf course that our new Space Force will be in charge of building a space fence to protect America from illegal aliens. Mr. Trump said during a President’s Day golf banquet that his National Emergency applies not only to our Southern border, but also to our space borders. “It’s not just Mexico we have to worry about. You might have heard that we lost our very nice Mars Rover recently after many years… of roving…on Mars. Very sad. So now NASA is without eyes and ears in space and if you think we just need a fence on the Southern border, just think of the fence we need all around the earth.”
When asked by reporters on the 18th hole how a fence could even be built in outer space, an annoyed Trump responded, “Look, these things can be done. Just like they built the international space station in space. It’s a station, but it floats…in space. And the Russians use it, even though they are not our friends on earth, but we let them use it, because we’re all friends in space; Russia, China, and all the astronauts… from everywhere.”
White House advisor Stephen Miller defended the new strategy saying, “If we really want to keep our base safe, our voters safe, we have to keep illegal aliens out, period!” The president added, “Space aliens are mostly bad, but we don’t know who they are. A few of them, I suppose, are good space people, but mostly they’re rapists and killers. They say ‘we come in peace’, or is that the Indians who say that? Well they don’t come in peace. They have those almond eyes and there are many cases, that we know about, many many people who have been abducted by these aliens over the years. This has been going on in all the previous administrations, and they take people and put them on their ships, their spaceships, and conduct experiments. I know you love this, but it’s true, they put duct tape over the peoples’ mouths and they do their experiments. They do not come in peace. If you know science fiction, you know all about illegal aliens.”, Trump said.
NASA has been facing budget cuts over the last two years, but Trump assured the press when asked about the cost of building a space wall, “We are going to build a space wall and Gene Roddenberry is going to pay for it.” When told by Sarah Huckabee Sanders that science fiction creator Gene Roddenberry passed away many years ago, Trump added, “A star like Gene Roddenberry, who showed us how to really fight Star Wars, in case you didn’t know, lives on even as its light travels through space. Many people don’t know that. Light years they call it. Like Dog years, but many more years, because light takes longer than a dog to get here through space. The Russians put a dog in space and it took many light years to get that little dog back. But he did come home because when we focus on space, nothing can stop us.”