Trump Bans Even More Words!

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Tuesday, January 9th, 2018         6:15am, EST

WASHINGTON DC – White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders confirmed this morning that the president has now added new words to be banned, in addition to the words he banned in the wee hours of Monday morning; book, fire, fury, wolf, Wolf, wolff, Wolff, wolfe, Wolfe, Michael, Mike, couch, collusion, collude, California, Bannon, Steve, Steven, Stevo.

The new banned words are: CNN, Jake, Tapper, tap her, Oprah, unfit, sane, insane, faculties, psychiatric, unhinged.  

The new words to be banned followed a bruising weekend for the Trump administration with the director of the CIA, UN Ambassador Hailey, the Secretary of State, and Stephen Miller, whose exact job title and role at the White House is unclear, all going on Sunday morning talk shows to defend the president’s mental fitness for his job.

CNN’s Jake Tapper had to call security to have Stephen Miller physically dragged off the CNN set Sunday morning while still screaming, “He’s a goddam genius, you fools. A very stable genius, just like he said, and his genius will not be questioned!” Miller was escorted out of the building where he was thought to have urinated in the snow just outside the front doors of CNN. The urine was in the image of the CNN logo with a circle and bar thru it, although the circle & bar appeared to be made of coffee from the CNN commissary. Because of the frigid weather, the sidewalks were abandoned and nobody witnessed the actual urination. CNN’s security cameras are being checked.

Trump Bans More Words

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Monday January 8th, 2018. 6:15am EST

WASHINGTON DC – Anonymous Trump administration officials secretly announced today the banning of more words. Effective immediately the following words are banned; book, fire, fury, wolf, Wolf, wolff, Wolff, wolfe, Wolfe, Michael, Mike, couch, collusion, collude, California, Bannon, Steve, Steven, Stevo.

 White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders was asked by reporters today why the word Stevo had been banned. “I think, at this particular point in time, it is crystal clear that the president was being light-hearted when he banned that specific word.”, she said, “And he is fully aware that banning the word Steve will have adverse effects on millions, which is why he tried to lift the spirits of all those Stev…. oops, as you can see it’s really hard to get in the habit of not… of people named that.”

The writer of the … manuscript called… sort of like Flames and Rage, whose name has now been banned, said in numerous cable TV interviews today, “You can ban my boo…manuscript, and you can ban my name, thank God my middle name is Donald, but you can’t ban the NY Times Best Sellers list. Where do I send the chocolates, Mr. President?”

Just after midnight, Eastern time, the president tweeted his banning of the word; chocolate.

Trump Bans Words

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WASHINGTON – Dec 16, 2018, 1:21pm          President Trump has just banned the following words; psychotic, moron, dentures, Poligrip, combover, liar, Alabama, harassment, Mueller, FBI, CIA, collusion, Vlady, golden showers, Dear Leader (reinstated), Alec Baldwin, wiki-torches, tiki-leaks, Washington Post, Jeff Bezos, Jeff Sessions, that black girl I just fired again, CNN, CDC, covfefe, Palestinian, Pelosi, rape, Puerto Rico, paper towels, trillions, deficit, affordable, care, Nigeria, tweet-storm, hearings, investigate, investigating, investigation, impeachment

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee-Sanders said when asked by reporters why the words had been banned, “Only an idiot would ask why these obvious words are being banned. I think most Americans are smart enough to know why without needing to be told by the press. And I think I have nothing further on that.  However, I will say that in order to demonstrate our level of commitment to diversity in the White House amidst recent lies and insinuations about us firing our only black person, which she was definitely NOT, we will be beginning Monday’s daily press briefing with a Navajo Code Talker, and not the one who just died, obviously, maybe the singing one, who will describe why these words must be banned.” Huckabee-Sanders added “And out of consideration to Native Americans we will do that in front of a portrait of Pocahontas, the real one this time, because we are fully aware of what ‘optics’ means and irrespective of what you in the media say, we do learn from our past mistakes.”  Huckabee-Sanders said the administration refused to rule out the banning of “future bad words”.