Trump calls Hurricane Florence a Hoax!

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Thursday, Sept 13, 2018   6:15pm, EST

Washington, D.C. – As Florence, one of the largest hurricanes to hit the U.S. in decades, bears down on the Carolina coast, President Trump tweeted Thursday that the magnitude of the storm is being “… strongly exaggerated by the National Weather Service. It’s a hoax! They do this so they can blame me, just like they did in Puerto Rico, but it’s not gonna work because this is just rain. Just plain rain. It’s basically fake news…except for the storm.”

Byron Shelton, head of the National Weather Service assured the public in a live news conference at 1pm EST Thursday that the satellite imagery of the hurricane is indeed accurate and that the National Weather Service stands by its forecast. The National Hurricane Center also warned the public to heed their advice to evacuate coastal areas and take precautions as ordered by their local government. “This is not a hoax at all. It is a powerful storm that shouldn’t be trifled with.”, said hurricane expert Louise Thurmond of the NHC, at the same press conference.

President Trump tweeted 15 minutes later saying that, “I hate the word trifle, because it seems like truffles, which are very top notch chocolate mushrooms, but it’s not. Trifle means to mess with something. Like the fake media likes to trifle with me!”

FEMA Administrator Brock Long released a statement saying that “FEMA is doing it’s best to get positioned ahead of this storm, but because of its size, we’re having to pre-position our resources hundreds of miles inland. That’ll slow our response times. This one is gonna be a mess.”

President Trump contradicted his FEMA administrator Thursday afternoon when he called into a live FOX News show and said, “Everything is ready for this little storm. It’s just a little storm, nothing to be afraid of. We’ve got the paper towels to toss. Some said I threw them at Puerto Ricans, which is a lie. It was on the news, you can see me tossing them, not throwing, but a toss. Very respectful. And we’ve got water, in bottles, because the people like to get their bottles of water. We’re more ready than anyone has ever been.”

Puerto Rico Governor Ricardo Rosselló finally broke his silence about the Trump administration’s response to last year’s hurricane on the U.S. island and Trump’s denial this week that the death toll was in the thousands, as confirmed by George Washington University. “I’ve sat quietly beside him in the Oval Office while he gave himself an A+ for the rescue efforts in Puerto Rico.”, said the Governor. “I bit my lip when he came and threw paper towels at my people. But questioning the numbers of the thousands of Americans who died as a result of Maria and its aftermath is too just much.”

“When I visited Puerto Rico after the storm last year, there were only a handful of deaths. Now they say thousands died. The government of that country needs to get its so-called facts straight.”, said Trump Thursday afternoon. “Don’t get me wrong, it could be a beautiful country, but not if they’re all dying like that.”