A.G. Barr Inserts Himself Into Smollett Case

WASHINGTON, DC – Attorney General William P. Barr inserted himself into another high profile investigation Tuesday when he sent a letter to the House Judiciary Committee stating “I believe that it is in the public interest for me to decipher the controversial Jussie Smollett case and to summarize the principal conclusions reached by the Illinois State Attorney’s Office.” The State Attorney abruptly dropped all charges against the actor on Tuesday for allegedly staging his own “racially-motivated” beating. 

The Attorney General attempted to clear the Empire actor by stating emphatically that, “[T]he investigation did not establish that Smollett conspired or coordinated with the two Russian African brothers.”

Barr’s clearing of Smollett ignored email and telephone records that Chicago police say proved the actor did indeed coordinate with the brothers in planning the incident.  Outraged Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel fought back tears as he railed against the AG, “Who is the Attorney General to interfere with Chicago’s internal corruption? That’s our business, not his. Barr should stick to misinterpreting the Mueller report and leave the misinterpreting of the Smollett case to us in Chicago!”

But Barr ignored the mayor’s admonition to stay out of the case and insisted on Wednesday that “My job is to step in and make the calls in cases where there’s confusion.” The Attorney General also weighed in Wednesday on the issue of climate change and concluded there’s not enough evidence to say it’s real.

Democrats pounced on Barr’s comments accusing him of trying to appeal to black voters as President Trump ramps up his reelection campaign. “The Attorney General seems to think he’s now Judge Judy”, said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) early Wednesday, “And he seems to think he needs to give us all a thumbs up or down in every case. He’s lowered the bar at the Justice Department.”

Barr later interpreted Pelosi’s comment for the American people, as a good example of a bad pun.

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Your Crystal Ball

 crystal ball

We Americans have lost our ability to think critically, to assess, to weigh things. At least 1/3 of us have. Over these past 3 years about 70 million of us have lost the ability to discern truth from lies. Even silly lies, when said by Trump, can now fool millions of Americans. Trump said that George Soros paid for “the caravan”, which is silly to anyone with more brains than a scarecrow. But then a crazed Trump voter ran out and tried to kill Soros with a bomb. Some people are not smart enough to reason. We are still debating daily whether Trump is a blatant filthy liar or if he merely said something that was not technically true. Why are we still debating this?

It shouldn’t take a crystal ball to see what’s going on in America. It is pretty simple. And well documented. When Clinton was president, Newt Gingrich convinced Republicans to get nasty, to use war-like terms to dehumanize Democrats, to set civility aside and become brutal. And they did. Bit by bit, over the past 3 decades. FOX News was created to ‘balance’ things out for conservatives. Trent Lott breaking the longstanding “Water’s Edge Rule” was part of that movement. Impeaching Clinton for having an affair was part of that, even while Gingrich was, uh, having an affair. Manipulating the Florida vote count process was part of that movement. Karl Rove using gay rights as a wedge issue to get W. reelected was part of it. McConnell’s vow to make Obama a one-term president, then to ignore our Constitution and deny Obama a Supreme Court nomination process was a big part of this movement. Republicans have become the party that white supremacists support in 2018. Republicans are supporting a president that is authoritarian in desire, who divides us intentionally, who ignores the rule of law, and who is leading a band of liars and thieves like we’ve never seen in any administration. That’s what’s going on. And 1/3 of Americans don’t understand it because they’re undereducated, and because they are being gaslighted daily. By Trump and by FOX. Pretty simple.

Because so many of us are currently challenged in our ability to reason, here’s a look into a Crystal Ball for some much needed clarity. Here are the very simple (and obvious to most of us) answers to many of the political questions people are wondering about:

  • Will Trump fire Mueller? Not exactly, but he’ll interfere with the investigation by firing Rosenstein after the election, just as Republicans were caught on tape acknowledging to donors.
  • Will Mueller find any smoking guns that bring down Trump? No, because whatever Mueller finally concludes, no matter how damning it is, will be ignored by Trump and Republicans. Nothing to see here folks, just like we said all along, no collusion, it was all a hoax. So in the end, nothing will come of the Mueller investigation because Republicans will ignore it and Dems will do nothing but scream. 
  • Will Trump testify before Mueller? No, he will ignore any subpoenas, just like he ignored making his tax returns public. And Republicans will stand by him, as they have for 2 years.
  • Will he fire Sessions? Yes, after the election, just as he’s hinted.
  • Will he tone down his rhetoric after the mail bombs and massacre in Pittsburgh? No, he won’t. He doesn’t care.
  • Will he really get tough with the Saudi’s for killing the Washington Post journalist? He’ll do some small gesture like expelling the Saudi ambassador, but no, he’ll take no serious steps against them because they threw him a nice party.
  • If Dems take the House, will they Impeach Trump? No, Dems don’t have the stomach. They’re too nice. And Dems are divided about whether to be tough or nice. Only half of them had the nerve to walk out of the sham Kavanaugh hearing. Just endless hearings that everyone will tire of. Even C-span will stop watching. But no impeachment.
  • Will Dems at least overturn every single Obama-era Executive Order and regulation that Trump has reversed? No, they won’t even have the nerve to do that. They’ll instead reach out to be conciliatory to the MAGA crowd. That’s what we liberals do.
  • Will more innocent people die as a result of Trump’s rhetoric? Sadly, yes.
  • Even with the benefit of a crystal ball, will a single Trump voter ever be convinced of the truth? Nope. Not a 1. 

Trump’s Hair Stylist Granted Immunity

witchiepoo
Billie Hayes as Witchiepoo, in the 1969 kid’s show HR Pufnstuf. On Friday Rudy Giuliani compared Hayes’ orange hair and white eye make-up to the president’s.

WASHINGTON DC, Aug, 24, 1:10pm EST          Robert Mueller is tightening the noose even more on Donald Trump by offering immunity to his closest confidants. Thursday he granted immunity to media magnate David Pecker, who runs the National Enquirer and oversaw the “catch and kill” of the story of one of Trump’s extramarital affairs with porn stars to keep the stories from public view and help Trump win the election.

Then Friday morning Mueller announced that he had offered immunity to Allen Weisselberg who has been the CFO for the Trump organization for decades, going all the way back to Trump’s father. Weisselberg is alleged to have arranged payments to one of the women and for reimbursements paid to Cohen. Weisselberg has extensive knowledge of the Trump organization’s expenditures, which could provide powerful criminal evidence for the Mueller investigation on many fronts.

At noon on Friday, Mueller made yet another announcement. He announced that he will also grant immunity to the president’s personal hair stylist. A source close to the investigation said, “This might be the most important person yet to receive immunity because all reports indicate that Trump is most loose-lipped in the mornings, while having his hair done and watching Fox and Friends.” Trump has even been known to call in to the controversial morning TV show while having his comb-over sculpted.

“Nobody cares what shade of orange the president’s hair dresser uses.”, said Trump’s lawyer Rudolph Giuliani. “The hair dresser is not an elected official and knows nothing anyway. Look, we all know that hairdressers everywhere, I mean in every town everywhere, hairdressers know who is sleeping with who… that’s true. My hairdresser doesn’t know anything, but that’s because they only work on me for about 1 minute.”, Giuliani said joking with reporters and pointing to his own mostly bald head.

The name of the presidential hair stylist has not yet been released by Mueller, but Trump is said to have had the same hair stylist since before he went orange. An unnamed White House aide said, “He just sits there spewing about the news while he watches Fox for 2 hours every morning and while she works on the CO for the whole time hearing everything he says. The CO, is the secret service code name forwhat the staff calls his comb-over.”, the aide added. “She knows, perhaps more than anyone else on earth, what Trump is thinking.”, said the aide on condition of anonymity.

Rumors also began swirling in the West Wing Friday that Mueller is considering granting immunity to the make-up artist who is in charge of his dark base (his base make-up, not his ultra white political base) and the white around his eyes. “Bring it on.”, said Giuliani. “For those of us old enough to remember Witchiepoo from HR Pufnstuf, she had the most white around her eyes and her hair was over-the-top-orange and nobody ever said ‘Well we ought to subpoena her make-up person, or her hair dresser, for that matter’.”