Trump Pardons Cohen

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Washington D.C. – Tues, Jan 22, 2019, 8:40am EST         BuzzFeed reported early Tuesday that President Trump has offered a pardon to his former attorney, Michael Cohen. BuzzFeed could not confirm its own report but said that a senior Trump administration official familiar with the situation confirms that Mr. Cohen was indeed offered a presidential pardon late Monday and was informed that he could pick it up at the Saudi consulate in NYC as early as Tuesday morning.

Cohen’s attorney, Lanny Davis, declined to send Mr. Cohen to the Saudi consulate citing fears of dismemberment of his client, but expressed Cohen’s interest in meeting with administration officials at the White House. Trump administration officials first agreed to host Cohen at the White House, but then reversed course early Tuesday morning for what the administration called “scheduling reasons”, and proposed to move the meeting to the Saudi Embassy in Washington, D.C.

Mr. Davis said on CNN early Tuesday “I will never send Michael to any Saudi consulate. Why? Well, because they murdered a Washington Post journalist in the Saudi consulate in Turkey, for God’s sake!” Davis then said that for Cohen’s safety, he would only agree to meet with administration officials in the Oval Office. Advisor to the President, Stephen Miller, tweeted minutes later, “Why not? We need to repaint the Oval Office anyway.”

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Saudi Hit Squad to Protect U.S. from Immigrant Caravan

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WASHINGTON DC – October 24th, 2018, 9:05am EST

President Trump tweeted early Wednesday morning a threat to dispatch Saudi Arabia’s 15-man hit squad to the US/Mexico border to “take care of the caravan once and for all”. Trump was referring to the group of over 7,000 immigrants, now being called a caravan of immigrants, mostly from Honduras and other Central American countries. “This caravan, do you know who created it? Ask the Democrats. Ask the Democrats. And there are terrorist from the middle east hiding among them too. Very bad.”

Trump mentioned the 15-member Saudi team, that according to their own government was merely sent to the Saudi consulate in Turkey to “interrogate” Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi. Instead, they say they ended up “accidentally” killing him in a “fistfight”. Saudis have now admitted not only to killing the journalist but also to cutting him up with a bone-saw they brought from Saudi Arabia. “Whatever you say about them, you have to admit they certainly know how to take care of things in a serious way.”, tweeted Trump.

When asked later in an Oval Office press avail with the CEO’s of Exxon and Halliburton how 15 men could possibly hold back over 7,000 desperate immigrants, Trump replied, “Well that’s just the 15 we know of. And we know they use disguises, so we don’t know who is who. There may be thousands of them too, for all we know. And don’t forget they have swords.”, added the President.

“We’ve got to do something to stop these very bad people from coming into our country. And the Saudi’s, they don’t mess around.” Trump said. “We got into a little trouble for putting kids in cages, which did work by the way. It really did keep them from coming. Without the cages there’d be many more caravans to dodge. But since the liberals won’t let us do that anymore, Stephen (Miller) really likes bringing those very stealthy Saudi’s here to…let’s just say to discourage immigrants from coming. I’d hate to see them end up like that journalist.”

Trump Predicts Consulate Murder Video will be “Ratings Gold”

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WASHINGTON- Oct.18th, 2018, 7:15am, EST       President Trump tweeted early this morning that he predicts “ratings gold… high ratings if the Turks will release that video of the consulate.”, referring to video the Turkish government claims to have of the torture and murder of Saudi-born Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi, which allegedly took place in the Saudi consulate in Istanbul.

“If they really have this video,” the president tweeted, “as bad as it is, as grizzly as it is, I think Americans and people around the world for that matter will go crazy for it. Look at how well the slasher movies do, and those haunted houses where they jump out and grab you by the… whatever, and chase you with chainsaws. People, as odd as it seems, people really like that stuff.”

In a series of tweets, Trump mentioned the Access Hollywood audio tape where he originally made the controversial “grab ‘em by the…” comments that nearly wrecked his presidential campaign in 2016. “Let me tell you, I heard at the rallies every day how much people loved that tape, and hearing people just be honest. They said ‘we love you saying that!’”.

“I’m just saying that I think with YouTube and the hit Dexter on HBO or Showtime, all the violent stuff on the internet, I think people would really be interested in seeing that video, if they really even have anything, I mean the serious part of it, you know. That’d go viral, video of that kind of thing, if it were real. But since we haven’t seen it for ourselves, I doubt if that video even exists. Turks, if you’re listening, and you really have this, it’s ratings gold.”

Trump Blames Kathy Griffin for Saudi Murder

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WASHINGTON – Oct.17, 2018, 7:43am, EST       In a wide-ranging tweet-storm early Wednesday morning, President Trump attacked Stormy Daniels as a “horseface” and accused comedienne Kathy Griffin of murdering and dismembering a Saudi-born American-based journalist inside the Saudi consulate in Turkey.

Trump tweeted, “I’m just saying, that if you’re talking about cutting people up, nobody knows how to do that better than that loser Kathy Griffin. She did it to me, and I’ve got the photo to prove it. There’s proof of this one.”, referring to the controversial photo of Griffin holding a fake severed head that resembled Trump. The photo outraged Republicans and led to the firing of Griffin by CNN as host of CNN’s annual New Year’s Eve coverage.

Responding to shouted questions by reporters following a morning rose garden reception for OPEC, Trump said, “You’re saying it’s not real… about Griffin, but I don’t know. That head looks a lot like me, except the hair. My hair is much better than that. But you don’t know. I don’t know if it’s real. Looks real. So could be real.”

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the controversial photo of Griffin that enraged Republicans and got her fired from CNN

The president got a laugh from the press pool in an exchange broadcast live on MSNBC, when an AP reporter pointed out that he had clearly not been decapitated by Griffin because he was standing there in front of them, and he replied “How do you know?” After the group of reporters burst into spontaneous laughter, Trump smiled and turned to the FOX camera saying, “Oh look, they’re laughing with me, not at me. Just like the UN. With me.”

When asked if he believed the Saudi Crown Prince in his denial of any involvement, even while men from his personal security detail have been identified among the alleged killers in the consulate, Trump said, “He’s denied it. Strongly. And Griffin has not, and you have to ask yourself why not, if she didn’t do it? Why would she keep quiet if she’s innocent. If she has no blood on her hands? She could be like a real life Dexter. I don’t know. Does she have a basement? Has anybody checked Kathy Griffin’s basement, because I would not be surprised to find the real chop shop down there. Why are we not checking her basement? Maybe your Washington Post journalist is down there in her basement, or whatever’s left of him, after she got her hands on him. CNN was right to fire her.”