Trump Fires Shatner from Space Force

Capt kirk

Washington D.C. – Aug 29, 11:51pm EST  – –  President Trump tweeted Wednesday that he was firing actor William Shatner. “I’m not happy with the slow progress of Space Force. It’s been weeks since I announced it, and where is it? Where’s our Captain Kirk?”

William Shatner said he had never met Trump, and that he had no idea what he was talking about.

Trump fired back on Shatner’s Snap Chat page using the Snap Chat lion filter. “YOU’RE FIRED!”, he roared looking like a strange man-lion. “Just like they fired you from those Priceline ads. Fired from everything. Fired Shatner. Fired.”

Shatner laughed when shown the president’s posts. “The sad thing is, I would have taken the job.”, Shatner joked, “ I mean, at my age a job is a job.”

Just last week Trump fired Omarosa from the job of Communications Director of Space Force after her press blitz calling the president insane. “Wouldn’t she look perfect as the new Lt. Uhura? In that little skirt… from the 60’s? Can’t you just see that? With that thing in her ear.” Like Shatner, Omarosa had never spoken with anybody about joining anything called Space Force. But unlike Shatner who joked about wanting the job, Omarosa said she is seriously interested in the job of Communications Director for Space Force and is … “waiting by the phone.”

Kellyanne Conway claimed Space Force is up and running, “Who are you to say that there is no Space Force? How dare you?” But when pressed for details of how many service members Space Force has and where it was located Conway said, “It’s in space. That’s where it is. I’m surprised you CNN guys aren’t smarter.”

Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders went even further than Conway saying Wednesday at the White House daily briefing, “Space Force is the best force and the biggest space force in history. Period.”

The Washington Post reported Wednesday that they had contacted every single government agency, and that nobody in any of these agencies was aware of the creation of a Space Force. When asked why Trump tweeted that he was frustrated with the progress of Space Force if it is already up and running, Sanders replied, “In the words of Kellyanne Conway, How dare you!”

Trump tweeted late Wednesday, “I’m considering giving Captain Kirk a second chance, because mostly he beat the bad guys and got the girls. I’m considering making Shatner Attorney General.”

Trump Creates Omarosa Smoke Screen

Breaking News graphic

WASHINGTON D.C. – Thurs, Aug 23, 2018      Just two days after his former campaign chair Paul Manafort was convicted of 8 felonies and his former attorney Michael Cohen implicated the president himself in criminal actions, President Trump tried to distract the white house press corps by announcing that he has fired Omarosa yet again.

He told the press before boarding Marine 1 to fly to his Florida resort, that he rehired Omarosa over the weekend, even after last week’s press blitz by Omarosa that shared secret recordings of the president and Chief of Staff Kelly. But this time, Trump claimed, he had rehired her as the new Communications Director of Space Force.

“I just had no choice but to fire her, again. Not the first time I’ve had to fire this one. I had thought she’d be the perfect Comms Director of Space Force, you know, to play the new Lt. Uhura with that thing in her ear, only now that thing in her ear would look more like a white i-phone ear thing, much smaller and made by Apple, one of our greatest companies. And I know Omarosa would have been great at that since she obviously is good at eavesdropping on people. And can you see her sitting there in one of those space uniforms? I can. I can just see that.”

A reporter asked Trump why he fired her if he was actually hiring her as Comms Director of Space Force. Trump replied “I had to fire her, well General Kelly, although I didn’t know about it at all, at the time, but they knew and look, I will tell you they run a big operation. Really a lot to look over. And why they tell me she had to go, was that she’s saying now that I am mentally unstable. Can you believe that?”

Trump spoke with reporters for 6 minutes on the South lawn and was asked 7 questions about Manafort’s conviction and Cohen’s cooperation with the special counsel, but his response to every question was about Omarosa.

Omarosa denied ever having been hired as Communications Director of Space Force. “I know nothing about that. America has heard quite clearly the last conversation I had with the president, and it was him lying about knowing anything about Kelly firing me. And he’s lying about this too. He never hired me to be the new Comms Director of Space Force. But let me just say, that if he were to seriously offer me such a position, I think I’d be highly qualified and interested in that position.”, she said.